I Know What You Did
by Homer Jay Simpson
Summary: when the James,Sarah,Henri kill John Adams the murder haunts em with a murderous black raincoat


I Know What You Did % Thick fog shrouds a lonely road through the countryside. The Kids' wagon is the only car on the road. Inside the Car, Sarah is at the wheel.  
  
Sarah: I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible Vampires. Henri: But it was worth it to get back our Super Sugar Crisp Cereal. [Holds up box] [Sings to "Sugar Crisp" tune] Can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp... Sarah: I'm having a hard time seeing. James, did you remember to Put the fog lamps in? James: [still singing] Guess I forgot to put the fog lamps in. Sarah: I'd better pull over and play it safe. [Pulls over, but There's a horrible thump. She stops the car, opens the Door, and discovers that she has run over something] [Gasps] Please be a dog...  
  
The family runs up to body, and discovers that it's a man. Homer Rolls him over to see that he is none other than John Adams.  
  
Henri: [pokes him in the eye with a stick] He's dead! [Pokes Twice more] He's definitely dead. [Pokes a few more Times] Sarah: Oh, my God! We killed John Adams. James: You mean *you* killed John Adams. Sarah: Oh, it was an accident -- an accident! Henri: We've got to go to the Constable. James: They'll never believe a Reporter killed an Adams by Accident. Even I have my doubts. James: [holding John up] Don't worry, I've got a plan. Okay, John. The first thing we must do [begins whispering] is making Sure no one knows that you're dead. If anyone asks, you Just say that you're not dead. [Nods Adams' head up And down]  
  
The next morning, James has taken John's body up to the roof of the Clarks' house. Next door, Abigail tends the Adams' farm.  
  
James: Hey, Abigail! Look who's helping me clean the chimney! [A vulture flies down and begins picking at John's arm. James shoos it away] Abigail: Johnny? Where have you been? James: [doing bad John impersonation, and waving John's arm] Hi Abigail-diddily. I've been having fun with my pal James. [Pause] Diddily. Abigail:Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late- Night fog walks I get so worried. James: [as John] Relax, I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want Any autopsies uh Diddily. Abigail: Well, come on down, you goofy rookie. James: [as John] Wow, it sure is slippery up here. [Goes to toss John off the roof] [Bell dings inside Adams house] Abigail: My pies are done. [Goes inside] [Adams lands on the doghouse] James: Damn, she missed it!  
  
Take II. James, carrying Ned, kicks opens the Flanders' door.  
  
James: [as John] Hey Abigail, I'm home. Uh, oh, I think I'm having A heart attack uh Diddily. [Tosses the body to the floor, closes the door] Abigail: [screams from inside the house] James: And that's the end of that chapter.  
  
The whole town, it seems, turns out for the late John Adams' Funeral. Even the kids are there. Henri counsels everyone not To look too sad, or else they might draw suspicion. Everyone smiles Brightly, and takes their place among the congregation.  
  
Reverend Lovejoy introduces John's best friend -- James Hiller -- Who will say a few words in eulogy?  
  
James: When I think about John, I can't help but remember the look On his face when Sarah drove over -- Sarah: [sotto voce] Homer, shut up, shut up, shut up! James: Oh, wait. What I'd like to say is, we're still looking For the real killers. Anyway in conclusion, a man cannot be forced to testify against his wife. [Winks Conspicuously] Sarah: [off screen, sotto voce] Stop winking! James: Be at peace, buddy. [Playfully kisses John's shoulder]  
  
Relieved that no one suspects they had a hand in Adams' death, The friends drive home.  
  
Henri: Hey, we just got away with murder. And it was so easy! [Sees Millhouse crossing the street] You know, I never Liked that little Millhouse. [Steers toward him] Sarah: [grabs the wheel and steers the car back] No more murders! [James pulls up in his driveway, and the family gets out Of the car] James: But you got to kill -- Sarah: No!  
  
Perhaps the kids didn't get away with murder, after all. Scrawled on their front door are the ominous words, "I know what you Did." Someone obviously witnessed the accident, but whom? Everyone On Chestnut Street that day stare at them accusingly. Even James points a finger At Sarah, until she tells him to quit.  
  
Huddled in their darkened living room, the Children are startled by A phone call.  
  
Sarah: Who could be calling at this hour? James: [nervously answers the phone] Hello? Menacing Voice: [on phone] I know you're alone. James: Who is this? Menacing Voice: Is this Abigail Adams? James: No, it's James ? Oh, I must have dialed The wrong number.  
  
A flash of lightning (and a 360-degree spin from the camera) reveals That the phrase "I know what you did" has been painted on just about Every surface of the living room. What's worse, a dark figure in Rain gear stands in one corner, brandishing a big hook. The family Runs out of the house, and piles into the car, only to see that the Car has been decorated with the same phrase. James starts the car And the family flees from the house.  
  
Homer prays for divine intervention. "Dear God, it's James. If you Really love me, you'll save my life now," he says. The Horses die.  
  
With the mystery man closing in, James hatches a desperate plan to Save his family.  
  
James: Okay, Sarah, you hide in the abandoned amusement Park; Henri, the pet cemetery; And I'll go skinny-dipping in that lake where The sexy teens were killed a hundred years ago Tonight. [Turns to Adams, who is the one wearing the rain Gear] Now, Adams, I want you to -- OFF: [screams] Sarah: It's impossible. I killed you. Adams: You can't kill the undead, silly. Henri: [pokes Flanders in the eye with a stick] He's Undead, all right. James: Are you a zombie? Adams: Oh, I wish! You see, that night, when you hit me With your car... [Flashes back to that night. Adams walks alone In the fog, along the side of the road] I'm making record time on this fog walk. [A wolf Howls in the distance] better pick up the pace. [A wolf jumps out of the bushes, and shoves Adams Off the road. There's a struggle, and Adams Emerges as a werewolf] James: [from a distance, singing] Guess I forgot to put the Fog lights in. [Flanders prepares to pounce on the unsuspecting Vehicle] Sarah: I'd better pull over and play it safe. [Runs over Flanders, who transforms back into a man] [Back to the present] Sarah: So you were going to kill us. Adams: [chuckles] Yeah. [Everyone enjoys a hearty laugh]  
  
The clouds part, to reveal the moon. Adams immediately Transforms into were-Adams and growls at James. "I want the News, not the weather," James says, and turns to Sarah to brag about His zing. She isn't there. Sarah and Henri are running away, Several hundred yards down the road.  
  
As the camera focuses on the moon, Adams attacks James. There's A pause in the carnage. "Eyes bigger than your stomach, eh, Wolfie?" He speaks too soon, as Adams resumes eating James.  
  
The end??? 


End file.
